clasingla ✭✭✭✭✭

today will erode away, the pains will slowly melt my mind and I just want to fall, the world is being shoved upon my shoulders with no room to breathe

Attività

  • UnovanZorua

    Hello! How are you?

    8 October
    • clasingla
      clasingla

      alright have to right college essays since i procrastinate til the last minute and have to do the interviews today

    • UnovanZorua
      UnovanZorua

      Good luck.

    • RitattakDiva
      RitattakDiva

      Good luck !!!!!

  • Hades0918

    This demon has made its way to TCG:

    DLR 83
    8 October
    • clasingla
      clasingla

      now everyone knows not to mess with Kecleon

  • clasingla

    today will erode away, the pains will slowly melt my mind and I just want to fall, the world is being shoved upon my shoulders with no room to breathe

    7 October
    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      I wish I could take that burden from you. Or at least part of it. I hope someone can lift it from you soon

  • UnovanZorua

    How are you doing?

    6 October
    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      I second this question

    • clasingla
      clasingla

      I’m surviving have to write all my college essays today I’m very demotivated as the requirements to try to get into the music program are overwhelming and feel unrelated to the field I want to go into I feel i should probably get tested for clinical depression but things are looking up elsewhere I’m starting an in person daggerheart group so that is a little good

    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      Hey at least there's a bright side! I hope you nail those essays! And the Daggerheart better work out!

    • UnovanZorua
      UnovanZorua

      That's great about the daggerheart thing! I wish you luck with college. That sounds tough.

  • clasingla

    A vase made of intricate eloquence

    A spectacle to all one to cure the lament

    Appraised as a beauty yet one would never expect

    The slow eroding to the vases detriment

    yet no one seem to noticed causing the detriment to quicken

    Well who could notice someone’s internals being stricken

    each day people pass and go with their attitude so ferryweather

    No thought to the craft behind this vase only seeing for their pleasure

    One night the vase finally shattered

    No one came to the crime for they didn’t really care

    Now your just a shattered vase ugly and full of despair

    To live a life only being seen from the outside

    And when it’s gone you become as zeros divide

    Now your just shards of glass the epitome of trash

    To be scooped up thrown away no legacy to last

    4 October
    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      Wow. Wow this was just… Perfect. Exactly how society views people. But I'm concerned. I really want to make sure things are okay. I can't force you to open up. But just know I'm here for you if you ever choose to. Amazing poem and have a great day/night.

    • clasingla
      clasingla

      just that I have no friends at school and when I get home I have no one their to me and my siblings rarely talk and my parents fail to understand me trying to push me to be perfect even though that’s the very thing that’s killing me I’ve also been struggling a lot mentally thinking the world will just keep on moving if I stopped existing that if I am gone tommorow no one would shed a tear because who could like a failure like me reality murders my dreams one by one with each blow leaving me with nothing all hope gone that niave enthusiasm dead because I’ll never be good enough because I lack skill and when I try my best it’s still worse than everyone else and I’m scared for my future if I can’t do anything now how can I even hope of having a good future my old friend group faded out since some of them went to college so I have no one to hang out with the people in my church group are the popular kids so fake with every thing they do leaving me just an outcast an outsider and with no one to talk to and I tried to be friendly and start a blood on the clocktower group and I got around 20 people to say they would join to only be betrayed with only a couple few to come each time which meant I had to cancel it multiple times eventually having to end it cause no one showed up

    • UnovanZorua
      UnovanZorua

      I can't help much, but I want you to know I care about you.

    • clasingla
      clasingla

      thanks i probably needed to hear that

    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      Um... okay. I can't be there irl, but I'm definitely here for you on the internet. Because I do care about you. And you're worried about being perfect. I know it probably doesn't mean much from me, but I don't think you need to be perfect. Just be you. Like, if the real you is anything like the guy I know then you're a really cool dude. You have a natural skill at writing and your stories are incredible. You have such amazing ideas and make awesome characters. I wish I could do something about botc... I personally want to join. I Wonder why they would say yes if they didn't mean it though... I'm sorry that didn't work out. You know, being the outcast isn't a bad thing. You're staying true to yourself, not changing to please others. That's a really good thing that I think will get you far in life. You live by your standards and won't lower yourself for others. People will see and respect that,even if it's not right now. If only you could stop trying to live by higher standards... I don't know if anything I said was meaningful but I'm just trying to show I'm here and making effort to help and comfort you. If there's absolutely anything else I'm all ears

    • clasingla
      clasingla

      thanks I’ll let you know if anything more comes up

    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      Sounds good. I hope you have a good day/night!

  • clasingla

    I wish it was socially accept to break down in public

    4 October
    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      iN MY OPINION IT SHOULD BE. i DON'T (sorry cap locks) get why society looks down on expressing your emotions. Let me cry! Let you cry! Everyone deserves to cry when they need it! Life is tough. We are all dealing with something. So don't judge someone else for letting out their stress. Holding it in only makes things harder

    • clasingla
      clasingla

      yea i just really felt this a few days back i kind of was having a rough day and i just wanted to cry but i just couldn’t

    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      I get that… I hope things get better and maybe you can finally let out some tears. It feels amazing when that pressure is finally gone and you can breath again

  • Lonestar85
    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      That's gotta sting…

    • clasingla
      clasingla

      probably not most likely got lost somewhere if I’d guess

  • clasingla

    I really need to start writing again welp I first have to finish college essays

    2 October
    • Voltareon2012
      Voltareon2012

      I have an essay to do for my Bible class…
      But I'm
      insert happy rainbow procrasinating!

    • clasingla
      clasingla

      Make since I procrastinate way to often

  • Voltareon2012

    just existing some more

    1 October
    • clasingla
      clasingla

      existing in this existence while thinking about existing

  • Morpekofreako

    Welcome to the forums! Hope you enjoy this place!

    1 October
    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      It's an amazing Community and I hope to see you around!

    • clasingla
      clasingla

      Aw thanks you make me feel like I’ve been on here for years

    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      That was genuinely the best reply possoble

    • Morpekofreako
      Morpekofreako

      agreed

  • clasingla
    clasingla changed loro profile picture.
    Thumbnail
    30 September
  • clasingla

    I’m planning on going to a blood on the clocktower event in San Francisco that’s happening march 5-7

    30 September
    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      Ooh, have fun! Tell me how it goes!

  • clasingla
    clasingla changed loro profile picture.
    Thumbnail
    30 September
  • clasingla
    clasingla changed loro profile picture.
    Thumbnail
    30 September
  • clasingla
    clasingla earned the 2,500 Agrees badge.
    You received 2,500 Agrees. People really notice you, in case you haven't noticed.
    29 September
    • clasingla
      clasingla

      well I was going to see if the amount of agrees was bigger than days lived then I realized that I’ve lived 1000’s of more days then amount of agrees I have

  • clasingla

    I forgor to take my medicine last night

    27 September
    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      Good or bad? Like does it give you negative side effects or is it positive for you?

    • clasingla
      clasingla

      helps me focus right now I am the essence of chaos

  • clasingla

    two puppet masters always beckoning

    One of logic one of empathy

    An everlasting war inside my brain

    To which side creates reason and the other disdain

    As my paper body gets strung along

    Hitting everything like a gong

    But what even I if just a doll

    Forever lost in minds fall

    27 September
    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      Hmm... You're making some pretty depressing poetry lately. The messages are becoming more clear to me. This was amazing! Everything alright, though?

    • clasingla
      clasingla

      ye all alright I just like to write about more darker depressing themes especially when they connect to me in some form or another

    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      That makes sense. Well, you're doing a great job! Can't wait to see more!

  • clasingla

    I have multiple of some improv piano recordings (not actual songs yet) would you guys want to listen to some of them why I’m writing my more polished stuff

    26 September
    • UnovanZorua
      UnovanZorua

      I'd like to!

    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      I want to hear please!

    • clasingla
      clasingla

      now I just have to find away to be able to post videos on here

  • clasingla

    I feel sort of bad for the user appreciation post cause I feel like I could say more and that I should but I don’t know what to say or realize I don’t know as much as I thought I did about them I feel I’m failing as a friend

    26 September
    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      Yeah... I actually get that. I felt like for Osho I had so much I should have said but couldn't because I don't know him that well. So I'm just making it a goal to put more effort into the friendship!

  • clasingla

    I’ll be probably not be on often this week on vacation

    24 September
  • Hades0918

    I changed

    Figured I'd let you know in case you're Flareon still because I was Vapor

    If you're just wanting to be the fire dog right now then just ignore this

    23 September
    • clasingla
      clasingla

      I can’t get words right… so sleep deprived

  • clasingla
    clasingla changed loro profile picture.
    Thumbnail
    23 September
  • clasingla

    procrastination is a chain holding me in place

    20 September
    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      Mine is depression as a metal ball tied to my ankle under water. I feel like I'm suffocating... And procrastination comes with that because it holds me down and refuses to let me go anywhere.

    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      Hmm... I genuinely can't tell if that's too much. Sorry if it is. You can delete it if you want. Again apologies. Should have thought more before posting

    • clasingla
      clasingla

      it’s fine, I’ve felt that feeling before too on a few occasions though it’s been a while, I don’t know exactly how to help but if you need me just let me know

    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      I appreciate that but I'll get over it

    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      I'll take you up on that offer but I'm not explaining here. I honestly can't explain again. I keep running in a circle saying the same things over and over again. My most recent submission on Fortelling explains it all. You don't have to read it. Don't have to comment. But if you want to know that's where you'll find it

    • clasingla
      clasingla

      I’ll read it

    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      Never mind I took it down. This isn't to you but to UZ. I promise I asked her first. I got permission. I would never share something like that without her consent. She told me it was fine. I asked again and she said it makes her uncomfortable so I took it down. She didn't tell me she changed her mind I swear. Thanks for saying something.

    • clasingla
      clasingla

      it’s going to be okay, life will continue on, I know I haven’t been in a situation like yours, but I know what it’s like to put the blame on yourself, don’t be too hard on yourself, your an amazing person who tries their best to be kind to everyone, I wish I knew what more to say, yet I don’t know exactly what you need to hear. If you need to vent more I’ll be willing to listen. If you want me to delete this just let me know.

    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      No this is fine. I appreciate that. You don't need to say anything. I just felt trapped and I needed to let out my thoughts. Thank you. I truly do appreciate you listening. I'll be okay. I think I just need time. Right now I'm still relying on false hope, which may not be healthy but it keeps me going. But enough about me. If you ever have something bothering you I'll be there. Never hesitate to reach out.

    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      Thank you. I needed your support. I feel incredible today

    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      (I'm on spam block, grr…) How is your day going?

    • clasingla
      clasingla

      only have been up for a few minutes so I have no clue

  • oshoBug

    apologies for commenting on your wall, but appr0val things happen and i need to find workarounds. this is for daggerheart. appr0val usually doesn’t kick in when commenting on my wall, so would it be acceptable if i comment on my wall and ping you when appr0val stops me from commenting my rolls in the thread? if not, i can put up with it.

    20 September
    • clasingla
      clasingla

      I didn’t see this til today but that is absolutely fine to do

  • clasingla

    I figured out a way to improve one of my music pieces by making a similar different piece and since I'm striving to go into video game music I kind of created a whole story around how this motif twisted and the character it connects too.

    19 September
    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      Well hecks yeah! That's awesome!

  • Hades0918

    Oh, wow, you're ~2500 points away from 10,000!

    17 September
    • clasingla
      clasingla

      so it seems so it seems

  • clasingla
    clasingla changed loro profile picture.
    Thumbnail
    16 September
  • clasingla

    the eye sits at the throne

    The stare that shivers my bones

    To know the insignificance of my thoughts

    To prove that my purpose is to get lost

    To dive into mist unknown

    Inside the maze of the rose

    When the sword pierces the side of thorn

    To show only the strong can be reborn

    15 September
    • UnovanZorua
      UnovanZorua

      That's beautiful

    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      Wow... this is my favorite one so far. This was so deep. Amazing job!

  • clasingla

    as the bitter tears fall down my face remembering a time of a better place yet my head in a frenzy my eyes in a glaze as I wonder around a soul as I phase remorse sucks my soul severing me from hopes return as if I cared enough in the first place so as I sink to the floor with the waves crashing down as a broken bouquet no petals no day

    13 September
    • Hades0918
      Hades0918

      Wowza... I feel emotionally moved by that. Great work!

  • clasingla

    perfectionism is a plague

    6 September