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Pokémon chaos prologue

PokemiiAC
PokemiiAC Member Posts: 1,292 ✭✭✭
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edited September 23 in Pokémon Video Games #1

A woman in sunglasses sits on a grand throne, a man kneels in front of him crying like a baby

“You have provoked rule B twenty four” the woman says coldly.

“Miss! Please! No!” The man begs through floods of tears.

“Spare him… on a warning.” She says

“You are dismissed.”

The man sighs and walks away.

He passes a tube on his way out

A white core sits in the tube.

It wakes up.

This core….

Is zygarde.

Comments

  • PokemiiAC
    PokemiiAC Member Posts: 1,292 ✭✭✭
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    anything you like? Any tips?

  • clasingla
    clasingla Member Posts: 3,265 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    is rule b24 you are not allowed to like charizard

    Though for real tips I would personally recommend it to be a bit longer adding more detail if possible also at the same time keeping some things ambiguous til later in the story like about zygarde also I feel like there needs to be more of a transition between the man walking away and the tube it completely changes the main point of focus without a transition I feel like “as he leaves he passes by a tube, In the corner, within it a white core floating inside.” Could be a good transition to connect the parts of the story.

    Sorry if my tips and advice are too harsh I don’t mean them to come out that way.

  • UnovanZorua
    UnovanZorua Member Posts: 2,214 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    This looks interesting!

  • Eremas
    Eremas Member Posts: 1,139 ✭✭✭
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    Dun dun dun

  • PokemiiAC
    PokemiiAC Member Posts: 1,292 ✭✭✭
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    I was thinking that I needed some clarification about the tube (yes it’s in the throne room) about the detail, this is a small sneak peak of the game so it doesn’t need details.

  • PokemiiAC
    PokemiiAC Member Posts: 1,292 ✭✭✭
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    pregame is coming! You will be able to choose what gender the player character will be!

    I just have to get it approved…