Pokémon chaos prologue
A woman in sunglasses sits on a grand throne, a man kneels in front of him crying like a baby
“You have provoked rule B twenty four” the woman says coldly.
“Miss! Please! No!” The man begs through floods of tears.
“Spare him… on a warning.” She says
“You are dismissed.”
The man sighs and walks away.
He passes a tube on his way out
A white core sits in the tube.
It wakes up.
This core….
Is zygarde.
Comments
-
is rule b24 you are not allowed to like charizard
Though for real tips I would personally recommend it to be a bit longer adding more detail if possible also at the same time keeping some things ambiguous til later in the story like about zygarde also I feel like there needs to be more of a transition between the man walking away and the tube it completely changes the main point of focus without a transition I feel like “as he leaves he passes by a tube, In the corner, within it a white core floating inside.” Could be a good transition to connect the parts of the story.
Sorry if my tips and advice are too harsh I don’t mean them to come out that way.
0 -
This looks interesting!
0
