Welcome to the official Pokémon Forums!

Click here to review our official Rules & Guidelines.

Mystery dungeon story part 6

clasingla
clasingla Member Posts: 2,715 ✭✭✭✭✭
500 Agrees 50 Answers 250 Likes 100 LOLs

Chapter-6 Cherubi’s Revenge
Leo Mirage and Growlithe prepared to fight Cherubi’s and her friends.

“Prepare to be defeated.” snickered Cherubi. There was a faint scent of revenge that seemed to emit from Cherubi. “Now attack my comrades.” yelled Cherubi.

Burmy and Sunkern start to walk forward, preparing to use their attacks against Growlithe.

On the other hand Tyrogue was getting closer to Mirage, then he started to talk in a low voice “Aren’t you part normal type? This shall be a piece of cake.”.

While that was happening Happiny was closing in on Leo, but Leo was heading to something else; a humongous pile of big red juicy apples. While Leo was approaching the apples Happiny made a giant leap to attack Leo with takedown. They both started to roll toward the apples, then a trap sprang up.

“I don’t know who’s more naive you or that Chikorita.” Snapped Cherubi “I mean he fell for an obvious trap, but you on the otherhand fell for that same trap, which to make matters worse you made yourself!”

Why Sunkern and Burmy were trying their best to attack Growlithe with razor leaf and bug bite, they were barely leaving a scratch. Growlithe then used ember which knocked them both out.

“Why aren’t any of my attacks hitting?” panicked Tyrogue.

“Well because I’m a ghost normal type.” Mirage then used extrasensory, a move that her parents knew which she learned. Tyrogue then fainted.

Cherubi started to laugh maniacally “Your Chikorita friend here will now drop to his doom.”

All of a sudden footsteps started racing forward. A determined face came over Growlithe. She started racing toward Cherubi. Right before Cherubi pulled the lever a yell was heard. “You won’t hurt my friends!!!” Growlithe ran full force into Cherubi knocking her out.

Growlithe and Mirage then untied Leo and Happiny from the net. “We’ve got some questions to ask you” Mirage said.

“I will answer them said Happiny” scared of what will happen if she didn’t.

“First question. Why did Cherubi and the rest of you want to attack Growlithe?”

“Because we thought Growlithe was the one who made are parents disappear.” Whimpered Happiny.

“Why?” Mirage asked.

“Well she still had her parents or should I say parent her mom got ill shortly after she was born leaving only her dad to take care of her. We thought Growlithe was trying to make us feel the same way by making our parents disappear so we wanted revenge.” Happiny then sighed “I realized he was innocent the second he helped his friend.”

“Why did Cherubi want to drop the net off the cliff even though you were still in it?” Mirage questioned


“Well cherubi’s parents disappeared the longest of all of us driving her slowly mad.” Happiness then continues “It was one and a half month ago Cherubi just got back from school, but her parents were nowhere to be seen. At first she thought they were just shopping; but as days went on she was worrying what had happened to them. One week later the news came and the headline was Pokémon mysteriously disappearing. Cherubi was so mad and instantly blamed it on Growlithe. At first I was skeptical of Cherubi and so was everyone else. But as soon as our parents, classmates, and teachers started to disappear more and more people believed that it was Growlithe behind the disappearances. So Cherubi and us devised a plan we first went to the top of an easy to get through mystery dungeon, then Cherubi sent a letter saying that she needed help. We knew Growlithe would want to come with the rescue team so we could prepare the trap. We’re sorry.”

The thought of recent disappearances lingered in Mirages mind could that be what happened to her parents.

Comments

  • clasingla
    clasingla Member Posts: 2,715 ✭✭✭✭✭
    500 Agrees 50 Answers 250 Likes 100 LOLs

    feedback would be appreciated

  • puplover1118
    puplover1118 Member Posts: 521 ✭✭✭
    500 Comments 100 Agrees First Anniversary 25 Likes

    I like how you are connecting this dungeon and battle with what seems to be the major plot point of the story: the mysterious disappearances. It's also nice to see the type chart in effect with this battle. However, your grammar could still use some work. There could also be less emphasis on Leo being naive. You don't need to spell it out every time, and it's okay if people miss something implied to show Leo's naivete. Remember: show, don't tell (unless its something that doesn't really flow with the story if shown or doesn't make sense to show). Overall, I believe this story is going to be interesting, and I can't wait for the next part!

  • UnovanZorua
    UnovanZorua Member Posts: 2,021 ✭✭✭✭✭
    First Anniversary 250 Likes 500 Agrees 50 Answers

    This is REALLY good! I think there are places that need more commas or full stops though.

  • Flametix
    Flametix Member Posts: 545 ✭✭✭
    500 Comments 100 Agrees 100 LOLs 100 Likes

    i like the morally grey motivations and group polarization