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Pokémon mystery dungeon adventure part 2

clasingla
clasingla Member Posts: 3,055 ✭✭✭✭✭
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Hisuin zorua took Leo to the entrance of the mystery dungeon,
“this is a mystery dungeon” explained the hisuin zorua

“what’s your name” Leo asked

“oh i forgot to introduce myself I’m mirage”

“that was a strange name” Leo thought to himself “but I guess I’m fine with it” when they entered the dungeon leo immediately saw the stairs then exclaimed “oh I can just come back later let’s get some supplies”

Leo finally exited the dungeon mirage chasing after him with all her endurance knowing that was not a good idea to leave after mirage finally caught up to Leo he already grabbed a few stuff they reentered the dungeon

Leo was in shock “the stairs were right here I could have sworn it”

“huh Leo you are naive aren’t you” snickered mirage

Leo started to get furious “why does everyone keep calling him naive”

mirage then explained every time you enter a mystery dungeon everything changes stairs random items and enemies

“Enemies!!!” Gasped Leo “why would people i mean Pokémon try to attack us”

“A lot of us do not know their are rumors that they are illusions” mirage chuckled

After a few more stairs mirage finally provided info that they were close to the exit something suddenly jumped out on top of Leo it was a zigzagoon if Leo was still human he could easily get this zigzagoon off of him but he was stuck in a chikoritas body but something looked off about this zigzagoon it didn’t have any emotion like mirage said it was like an illusion then a yelp came out of Leo “help”

“You know how to attack don’t you” giggled mirage

“Funny thing is I actually don’t” confirmed Leo

“Well focus your attack and it will just come naturally try using razor leaf” tutored mirage

Leo used his strength and leaves started to come out Leo was in great shock the zigzagoon was knocked off of him and fainted

Leo and mirage finally made it to the final stairs right before Leo was about to enter them mirage stopped him in his tracks “I’ve been trying to start a rescue team but I need another person to start it with that’s where you come in I need you to join pleas…” mirage was interrupted mid sentence

“Sure” blurted Leo without any thought

They finally exited out of the mystery dungeon and in front of them was a beautiful town a sight to behold for Leo

Comments

  • clasingla
    clasingla Member Posts: 3,055 ✭✭✭✭✭
    2500 Comments 500 Agrees 250 Likes 50 Answers

    please give me any thoughts

  • UnovanZorua
    UnovanZorua Member Posts: 2,157 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    It's really good so far! Although it would look a lot cleaner with commas and more full stops between different sentences.

    But I do like the story, sorry if my advice seemed negative!

  • Pokemaster9293
    Pokemaster9293 Member Posts: 759 ✭✭✭
    500 Comments 25 LOLs 25 Likes 25 Agrees

    yeah you should put the punctuation marks and whatever