How would you describe Pokemon to someone who's never even HEARD of or SEEN the franchise?

Pokemon: A happy child's paradise that is COMPLETELY normal.

Video Games: So basically you just kidnap a bunch of wild pets that shoot fire and smsh at each other and make them fight your rival's pets because you're too scared to fight them yourself, or if you're playing a Legends game the pokemon just fight you instead❤️. Yes you. Not your pokemon, coward.

Trading Cards: Essentially you spend your life savings on a few shreds of paper and then just win a ton of money with [anything] EX by slapping a few on a table cuz yeah. Put down the freaking potion noob.

Anime: You watch Ash (or if you're gen alpha Liko🙄) and a bunch of random kids leave their families behind to.. start dog fights? With anything but dogs. So then, the parents act like this is a good thing while the kids are over here using animals to "battle" their enemies because they're too weak to do it themselves, and then wonder why the pets don't adore them as their "trainer." Oh and then sometimes the yellow rat electrocutes the kid with the red hat "by accident."

Mobile Games: You follow Hillary Clinton's famous words and Pokemon GO to the polls. There, you can find random pets that only show up on your phone and provide no real world value at all. You catch them and raid other, bigger pets with them.

PS, I don't actually agree with like half the stuff I said but we have freedom of speech for a reason. Now, let's hope this gets through moderation..

My sarcastic answer would be "fantasy cockfighting".

My more sincere answer would be "a monster battling and taming game that lets you recruit your own team of six."

If they asked me to elaborate I would explain the mechanics.

Perfectly correct Pokémon slander