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pokemon mystery dungeon refurbished void arc 1 chapter 1

clasingla
clasingla Member Posts: 6,971 ✭✭✭✭✭
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in Pokémon Square #1

this is where I'm going to post chapter 1 of refurbished void when i'm done making it i just finished with the first page

https://imgur.com/a/KPbpIjK
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Comments

  • clasingla
    clasingla Member Posts: 6,971 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    edited April 26 #2

    sorry for the terrible art though if you can tell me how i can improve let me know

  • Hades0918
    Hades0918 Member Posts: 15,228 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    #3

    Quick question

    Do I read left to right or right to left?

    Also, I can't read the words

    They are too small and/or close together

    Sorry

    However, I see nothing wrong with the art

    I think what it is is the characters feel… flat?

    I-I don't know

    They just lack depth, I think

    My art has the same problem, so I can't help

    Maybe @UnovanZorua can?

  • clasingla
    clasingla Member Posts: 6,971 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    #4
    https://community.pokemon.com/en-us/discussion/comment/150015#Comment_150015

    there is really only 1 recurring character in this page the rest of them are just throwaway characters also i can write out the dialogue from you

  • Evolve8eon
    Evolve8eon Member Posts: 4,717 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    #5

    new funky mode + Nintendo switch 2 edition meetup in Bella bell park

  • clasingla
    clasingla Member Posts: 6,971 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    #6

    spoink: criminal your time is up. you will never get away with this atrocity.

    shock: thanks for the show, but I better get going. you can now give your Applause, give a stand, but most importantly knock yourself out. cause like any good chase scene it has to end & i have somewhere important to go so I'll send you off with one grand.

    shock: VIBRAVADO

    vibrava: did you only bring me to make that joke

    shock: yes

  • clasingla
    clasingla Member Posts: 6,971 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    #7

    maybe i should have started with arc 2

  • clasingla
    clasingla Member Posts: 6,971 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    #8

    maybe i should just quit my art will never be good i've aready wasted so much time thinking about this that it prevent me from doing my other stories i'm probably very rusty and lost all the progress i made for the orignal story i wrote.

  • Hades0918
    Hades0918 Member Posts: 15,228 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    #9
    https://community.pokemon.com/en-us/discussion/comment/150019#Comment_150019

    Oh!

    I love this!

  • Hades0918
    Hades0918 Member Posts: 15,228 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    #10
    https://community.pokemon.com/en-us/discussion/comment/150022#Comment_150022

    Sigh

    I truly can't help

    However, I don't think working on this will hurt your story telling because you are still creating an amazing story along with the fact that you can naturally create great stories

    Maybe try to think positive, like:

    "By working on this I am improving my plot and character writing as well as my art, even though my art may be taking longer to improve. Plus, I'm accomplishing something that very few have: making a comic!"

    Unless you're not enjoying making this, I say keep trying

    However, I'm not you so that's easy for me to say

  • clasingla
    clasingla Member Posts: 6,971 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    #11
    https://community.pokemon.com/en-us/discussion/comment/150026#Comment_150026

    I enjoy making it I just am unsatisfied with my result I want to make something that everyone can enjoy without being an eye soar to look at

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