Which Pokémon would be the most useful IRL?

I know I'm supposed to respect everyone's opinions but I honestly can't understand why almost nobody is picking the obvious choice. Malamar. Malamar is the most useful and he is your friend

I want Mewtwo. It has teleportation, so it can take me anywhere, telepathy, so we could communicate, telekinesis, so it could lift me to places I can't reach, and, I know this isn't about power, but it's extremely strong, which would mean it could be my bodyguard.

It's a really good question - like I get people going for the big mythical options but let's be honest those would take a lot of care and space and management to keep happy and healthy and that's not something I think I could handle realistically.

Minccino's cleaning would be really helpful though, and it's relatively small size seems like it'd be easier to accommodate. I think I've heard that chinchilla fur doesn't trigger allergies either, and it's extremely soft and cuddly, so all around that just seems like a helpful pokemon to have around.

That's a good point, but I'm not a Mew fan. I want to go with a Pokémon I love and would be useful. Mew is not a bad choice, though.