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Mystery dungeon Story 2 prologue

clasingla
clasingla Member Posts: 3,265 ✭✭✭✭✭
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Note: I know the previous one is not finished but I kind of hit a Brain block so I want to introduce this new story in the same world

Ivy was doing homework, working hard sweating trying to do everything perfectly she just had too. Her twin sister was one of the smartest, popular, and athletic person in the whole city. Her sister set a bar to high for anyone to reach including her. Ivy sighed, put her papers in her backpack, and pulled out her journal which she kept of her daily activities. It has been 5 years since she started the journal, she turned to the first page tears running down her face. She reminisced of the times where she and her sister play video games, tried to find Sunkern in the grass, and just talk. Her sister was to busy to hang out anymore. They went from the best of friends to just acquaintances living in the same household. Inching near the window Ivy closed her journal, staring at the vast night sky. A shooting star started to fall from the dark night sky. Ivy closed her eyes and made a wish, one which was soon to be fulfilled "I wish my sister Bella will make some time for me." The door swung open Bella walked through the door.

"I'm home." Bella yawned she looked around and spotted Ivy. "Hey sis, what are you doing up so late? Our birthday is tomorrow, and this year you get it all to yourself, since I will be helping fill sandbags for redirection of a flood in the hoenn region, and doing a math competition, and…"

"STOP TALKING BELLA! I Know You Are One Of The Most Respected People In The City, And Is Often Used As A Definition Of The Golden Standard. BUT I WANT YOU TO DISAPPEAR. I'VE ALWAYS LIVED IN YOUR SHADOW, DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE CALL ME BY MY REAL NAME!? 3 yes 3, YOU AND OUR PARENTS, EVERYONE ELSE JUST CALLS ME BELLA'S SISTER, BELLA'S TWIN, OR BELLA LOOK ALIKE, I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, AND NOW YOU WERE TO BE SO OBNOXIOUS THAT THE ONE DAY THAT WE CAN ACTUALLY HANG OUT AS Siblings You Leave Me in the dust." Tears started to flow down Ivy's face enough to make them look like a rapid river on her face. She didn't mean anything she said, cause it was true for the last 4 years the only day that her and Bella actually hanged out on was their birthday the only day she saw her sister as she remembered her as, and not as some great person that was predicted to become champion in 7 years. As much as Ivy resented her sisters fame, she missed the sister she knew 10x more. She went to her room sad all she wanted to do was say sorry, wait she could do that! Ivy hopped out of bed and went to Bella's room bursted in with tears "Bella I'm sorry!" Ivy looked around Bella was no where to be seen. "Bella? BELLA? BELLA!" Ivy realized it was to late Bella somehow disappeared any last bit of resentment turned into worry her heart was pounding if only she could have told her sorry.

. . .

"Hey Uxe where is Mesa? It has already been 2 minutes and Mesa hasn't arrived yet, I'm really worried none of us has even been late to a meeting in our life. I'm legitimately worried Uxe what if something bad happened to her, what if the thing that you summoned us here for got Mesa. Uxe tell me what happened to Mesa you know everything." Azul said the worry projected in his voice.

"Ummm……… so Azelf, Mesprit has faced the same fate you are about to face. Um a fate that uhh will transcend time itself. Yeah that's it." ?Uxe? said

"Uxe why didn't you refer to me by my real name, you always call me by my real name, WHAT IS MY REAL NAME." Azul was really worried now, he was thinking that there was an imposter disguised as Uxe.

"Ummmmm…. Zach?" ?Uxe? said.

"You're a fraud! What have you done with Uxe! WHERE IS UXE, WHERE IS MESA!" Azul was frustrated this monster had done something to the other lake trio triplets and he wasn't going to let that slide. "WHERE ARE THEY?!"

?Uxe? "GuEss tHE JiG iS Up." The once look alike of Uxe started to turn into this black goop. It sent slimey sludge right at Azul getting him trapped. The black goo went up to Azul and said. "ThE ENd oF tHe WOrlD iS ComInG. tHEre Is nOtHINg yOU CaN dO." Azul tried to fight this goo with all the strength he had left finally the goo started to consume him right as the door open.

With one final breath Azul said. "uxe has been gotten, there is a fraud… RUN!" the black sludge after consuming Azul set its sight on its next target, one that was already running. The one that had the name of Mesa

Mesa now running for 3 days straight no turning back was getting low on energy. she needed somewhere to hide and quick, up ahead she saw a forest thick and green. She thought she could get some rest there. Mesa turning into the forest found a nice clearing with a lake, she forgot how thirsty she was and a deep hunger came over her too. With the little energy she had left she started to inch toward lake but before she made it there her weak arms and legs started to collapse. "I have failed you Azul."

Bella woke up on a hill, this hill was unfamiliar, and she forgot quite a bit of stuff, one of the few things she remembered was that her name was Bella and that she is a human. Hunger soon came over her, left and right she looked for any source of food and saw an apple tree in the distance. She tried to walk over to the tree, but right after the first step she tripped, and started to roll. As she rolled she noticed she didn't have feet nor hands, instead they were flippers. So correction she was a human, but now she wasn't. After a while her momentum slowed down at a clearing near a lake, at the base she saw a pokemon, she didn't know how she recognized this pokemon, but she identified the pokemon as the legendary pokemon Mesprit. The Mesprit looked weak and famished, like they were running away from something. Bella looked left and right for any source of food, across the lake she caught sight of an oran berry bush. As she inched toward the lake her new reflection came upon it instead of the human she once was she was now a Popplio! But what she found odd is that she had a pink frill. This new revelation shocked her but right now she had to get that oran berry. When she hopped into the water it just felt natural, she could breathe perfectly fine, she swam like a graceful plane, and quickly got to the other side to retrieve the oran berry. When she finally got back to Mesprit she fed Mesprit the oran berry.

"Thank you." the Mesprit said as she ate the berry.

"I will go find some more help." Bella said looking all around for anyone at all.

Comments

  • clasingla
    clasingla Member Posts: 3,265 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    tips please I just wanted to give something since it’s been quite a while since I last did a story

  • PokemiiAC
    PokemiiAC Member Posts: 1,292 ✭✭✭
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    meh… I think the problem is that your doing a mystery dungeon thing instead of, say poke park or a new anime. We could restart forums edition!

    Basically, tone down on the whole mystery dungeon of dooom! Thing

  • UnovanZorua
    UnovanZorua Member Posts: 2,213 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    edited October 9 #4

    This seems like it'll be really good but I think one Mystery Dungeon story is enough. I think it would've been better if it was about a different story or if you finished the first one before starting another PMD story. If you're struggling to come up with ideas for the next chapter of the first PMD story, you could try playing games you like or watching interesting shows or even just searching up writing ideas on the internet to find inspiration.

  • clasingla
    clasingla Member Posts: 3,265 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    the problem is it is supposed to be another dungeon and every single time a dungeon comes up they keep getting harder to write to keep it interesting also I’m worried my writing skills are worsening and I don’t want to write lame stories

  • clasingla
    clasingla Member Posts: 3,265 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    also (since the first post is waiting for approval)

    The story I’m writing is pretty close to coming to an end and sorry if my other comment sounds a little pushy I don’t mean it In that way I do want to thank you @UnovanZorua for all the tips you have given me which really did help me improve in my writing

  • UnovanZorua
    UnovanZorua Member Posts: 2,213 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Don't worry, your writing skills are still good. Also, maybe reading or watching other Mystery Dungeon stories and seeing how they deal with the mystery dungeons could help you get ideas if you don't know how to write more of them. Thinking of interesting things that have happened to you in mystery dungeons while playing the games could probably also help.

  • PokemiiAC
    PokemiiAC Member Posts: 1,292 ✭✭✭
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