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Mystery Dungeon Story 6.5

clasingla
clasingla Member Posts: 2,715 ✭✭✭✭✭
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edited September 6 in Pokémon Video Games #1

Chapter 6.5 — Growlithe Decision

Growlithe returned home after her mission with Team Hopefinder. Her Dad Arcanine was waiting for her.

"How was your adventure sweety? Did you enjoy it?" Arcanine had no clue what happened at the Bright Grove.

"Well on our quest over there Leo went and stepped on a confusion trap, making him super dizzy he bonked into like hmm… 20 walls! It was all so-o-o cool."

"Wait Lilly who is this Leo?" Arcanine questioned.

"First off you know I don't like being called by my first name, also to answer your question Leo is a Chikorita that is really reallllyy naive, he fell for a trap that was very obvious."

"Lilly if I may ask, was their any one else their on that team?"

"Yes there was! There was this Hisuin Zorua who was super powerful her name was Mirage."

"So Lilly were you able to find your friend?"

"Yes I was able to! Also stop calling me Lilly dad. Well you see my so called friend tried to ambushed me! Why Leo was stuck in the trap, me and Mirage were fighting Cherubi and her friends. Cherubi then threatened to drop Leo off the cliff. I ran to his aid and pushed Cherubi out of the way." Lilly then paused for a second "May I please try and join their rescue team?"

"Rescue teams isn't a game Lilly they do very dangerous things to help other pokemon." Arcanine sighed.

"I know it isn't, but I want to try anyway. I want to help them in anyway I can! Also dad you don't like me calling you brad."

"You got a point there Lilly. You somewhat remind me of your mother, How energetic she was. Lilly do you want to here a story about your mother?"

"Yes! Yes! Yes!"

"Well hold on tight for a story of mine." Arcanine then started the story. "Your mother was a very nice, friendly, energetic Arcanine that loved to explore. She met me while exploring some ruins, at the time I was an archaeologist. We quickly fell in love and one thing after another we were married. During that time their was some news that an expedition headquaters was being built around town and rescue teams will start to form. I was to nervous to start a rescue team, though she was the exact opposite it was her dream. I kept postponing starting one and decided to start a family instead. Shortly after you were born, your mother got extremely ill as you already know. When she passed both our biggest regrets in life was not starting a rescue team. I can never forgive myself and made it my vow to always protect you. Part of me doesn't want you to go for your safety, but the better part of me is telling me to let you go to fulfill your mothers dream. So I give my permission."

"Thank you, Thank you, Thank you."

"Lilly are you going to tell them your real name? They probably only know you as Growlithe."

"Not for a while at least dad, just so you know I will do fine don't worry that much."

Lilly left toward town and to the expedition headquaters and met up with Clodsire.

"Can I join team Hopefinders pretty, pretty, pretty please!"

"Well first they need to be the ones who let you in, secondly I need your real name for the databases."

"My name is Lilly."

"That's a good name who where you named after Growlithe?"

Tears trickled down Growlithe eyes "I was named after my mother."

"You can wait here while they come back from their rescue mission. Plus I wont tell a soul your name."

Comments

  • clasingla
    clasingla Member Posts: 2,715 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    any tips

  • clasingla
    clasingla Member Posts: 2,715 ✭✭✭✭✭
    500 Agrees 50 Answers 250 Likes 100 LOLs

    please?

  • UnovanZorua
    UnovanZorua Member Posts: 2,021 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    edited September 6 #4

    This is good! I like that you gave Growlithe a backstory and made an explanation for why some Pokémon in the PMD world are referred to by their species' name.

    But I think Arcanine's story sounded a bit awkward, you should have let Arcanine pause during some parts and start on a new line or let Growlithe talk a little in the middle of Arcanine's story. It was also just a little sudden when he went from saying it's too dangerous to saying OK. I feel like it would have been better if Growlithe asked about her mother after Arcanine said she resembles her (then he says the story and says OK) or if Arcanine sounded a little more unsure when he said OK due to how dangerous Mystery Dungeons are.