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Sneak peak of my new book for the competition📖

crayZender
crayZender Member Posts: 218 ✭✭✭
100 Likes 100 Comments 25 Agrees 25 LOLs

Here's a sneak peek of my short story so far!

Title: The-Great-Tenth-Grade-Disaster

class year: 2029 (10th grade currently)

In the humid, lockers-clanging hallway of Westview High, Leo adjusted his glasses for the fifteenth time. He had a secret that was burning a hole in his backpack, right next to his half-eaten granola bar. Walking beside him was Toby, his best friend since the days of eating toothpaste in kindergarten. Toby was bouncing on the balls of his feet, looking like a golden retriever that had just discovered a tennis ball factory.

'Man, I have to tell you something,' Leo whispered, glancing around to ensure no predatory sophomores were eavesdropping on their vulnerable moment. 

Toby grinned, his braces catching the fluorescent light. 'Funny you say that,
because I’ve got some massive news too. Like, life-altering, tectonic-plate-shifting
news.'

Leo sighed, leaning against a locker that smelled faintly of old gym socks. 'Okay,
you go first. I need a second to mentally prepare my delivery anyway.'

Toby leaned in close, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial rasp. 'I think I’m in
love. For real this time. Not like that time with the girl at the Renaissance Fair who
turned out to be thirty.'

Leo rolled his eyes. 'Toby, we’re in tenth grade. Love is just a chemical reaction
designed to make us buy overpriced chocolates. But fine, tell me about her.'

'She’s incredible,' Toby swooned, staring off into the distance where a janitor
was mopping up a spilled slushie. 'She’s got this laugh that sounds like wind chimes
made of pure joy.'

Leo felt a strange prickle of unease. 'Wind chimes? That’s specific. Go on. What
else?'

'She’s new this semester,' Toby continued, oblivious to Leo’s growing tension.
'She moved from the city, and she actually understands my obscure references to
80s synth-pop.'

Leo’s heart did a slow, painful somersault. 'Wait. Does she... does she wear those
vintage denim jackets with the patches on the elbows?'

Toby’s eyes widened. 'Yeah! How did you know? And she has those high-top
sneakers that she’s drawn little doodles on?'

Leo’s face went pale. 'The doodles of tiny pineapples and alien spaceships?'

'Exactly!' Toby shouted, drawing a stern look from a passing math teacher. 'Wait,
Leo, how do you know all this?'

Leo took a deep breath, his knuckles whitening on his bag strap. 'Toby, the girl I
was going to tell you about... her name is Maya.'

Toby’s grin froze. It didn’t fade; it just turned into a sort of rigid, horrified mask.
'Maya? Maya Thompson? The one from AP Bio?'

'The very one,' Leo said, his voice cracking. 'I’ve been talking to her for three
weeks. We’ve been trading playlists. I thought we had something special!'

Toby stepped back, looking betrayed. 'Three weeks? I’ve been helping her with
her French homework for a month! I’m the one who taught her how to conjugate
'aimer'—the verb for love, Leo!'

yeah thats all i got. and just in case any of yall are woundering all of my freidns left me but one who cares the world for me and wants the best for me. but at the same time i have yall. ande i know if i ever need help with something i can count on yall thank you!

(let me know what you think about it so far!)

«13

Comments

  • Hades0918
    Hades0918 Member Posts: 16,326 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Dude, this is so good!

    The "tectonic-plate-shifting" had me rolling!

    I really like Toby!

    Can't believe Maya is playing them...

    You better update in the comments!

    I'm interested now!

    Also, I am sorry about the friend thing, but there's something my mom once told me that might be comforting

    "You'll make a lot of friends growing up, but it won't be until college that you'll making permanent bonds. That's not too say High School friendships can't last, but you shouldn't stress too much over the ones you lose in this time."

    I'm other words, it's not impossible to make life-lasting bonds in high school, but it's not worth stressing about the ones you lose right now because you have a lot more life ahead of you

    The one that is still with you is hopefully a real one

    I wish you luck in this competition!

  • crayZender
    crayZender Member Posts: 218 ✭✭✭
    100 Likes 100 Comments 25 Agrees 25 LOLs

    @Hades0918

    thank you

  • clasingla
    clasingla Member Posts: 7,076 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    its really good tho i wonder if you have the right graduating year since sophomores should be the graduating class of 2028 (I'm a junior and next year is my graduating year 2027)

  • PokeMom244
    PokeMom244 Member Posts: 2,033 ✭✭✭✭✭
    1,000 Likes 500 LOLs 500 Agrees 1000 Comments

    Wow!
    This is good so far!
    Keep me updated!
    Good luck in the competition!!


  • crayZender
    crayZender Member Posts: 218 ✭✭✭
    100 Likes 100 Comments 25 Agrees 25 LOLs

    @Hades0918 part two of reading!!!!!!!!

    'You’re terrible at French, Toby! You probably taught her the wrong endings!'
    Leo snapped, his jealousy flaring up like a cheap firework.

    'That’s not the point! The point is, she’s mine. I claimed her in my heart first,'
    Toby argued, puffing out his chest as much as a fifteen-year-old can.

    'You can't 'claim' a person like a parking spot, you idiot!' Leo countered. 'Besides,
    she likes my intellectual depth. We discuss the existential dread of the suburban
    experience.'

    Toby snorted. 'Existential dread? She likes me because I make her laugh. I told
    her the joke about the dyslexic devil, and she nearly fell off her chair.'
    'Laughter is fleeting, Toby! Intellectual connection is forever!' Leo shouted, his
    face turning a shade of pink that matched his binder.
    The two friends stood in the middle of the hallway, a sea of students parting
    around them like they were a particularly angry rock in a stream.

    'I’m going to ask her to the Spring Dance tonight,' Toby declared, pointing a
    finger at Leo’s chest. 'And there’s nothing your 'existential dread' can do about it.'
    'Oh, you think so?' Leo challenged. 'I’m going to her house right after school. I’ve
    already written a poem. It’s three pages long and uses the word 'ethereal' twice.'
    Toby gasped. 'Three pages? That’s cheating! Nobody can survive three pages of
    your poetry. You’ll bore her into saying yes!'
    'It’s called romance, Toby! Look it up in a dictionary, if you can find one that
    doesn't have pictures of superheroes in it!'
    The bell rang, signaling the end of the day. Usually, this was their favorite time,
    But now it felt like the starting gun of a war.
    They bolted for the exit, stumbling over their own feet and several freshmen. It
    There was a race to the parking lot, then a race to their respective bikes.
    Leo pedaled like a madman, his legs burning. He knew Maya lived on Oak Street.
    He just had to get there before Toby’s mountain bike cleared the hill.
    Toby, however, had a shortcut through the park. He zoomed past a group of
    toddlers, his cape—actually just an unzipped hoodie—flapping in the wind.
    They arrived at the front of Maya’s house at the exact same moment, their bikes
    clattering onto the pavement in a tangled heap of metal and rubber.
    'I was here first!' Toby gasped, doubling over to catch his breath.
    'Your front tire is over the property line, but my foot touched the driveway first!'
    Leo yelled, gasping for air.
    They scrambled toward the front door, pushing and shoving like two crabs
    fighting over a particularly nice shell.
    'Maya!' Toby yelled, banging on the door. 'Maya, it’s Toby! I have a very
    important question involving dance and possibly a corsage!'
    'Don't listen to him!' Leo screamed over Toby’s shoulder. 'I have a poem about
    the moon and your eyes!'
    The door didn't open immediately. Instead, they heard the sound of laughter
    coming from the backyard. It was a deep, booming laughter they both recognized.

    The two boys froze. They shared a look of confusion. That didn't sound like
    Maya. That sounded like... authority figures.
    Slowly, they crept around the side of the house, peering over the wooden fence
    into the backyard patio.
    There, sitting at a glass table with iced teas in their hands, were three people.
    One was Maya, looking radiant in her denim jacket.
    The other two people were men in their mid-forties, wearing matching 'World's
    Best Dad' t-shirts that they had clearly bought as a joke together.
    Leo’s jaw dropped. 'Dad?' he whispered, seeing his father, Mr. Miller, leaning
    back in his chair and laughing at something Maya said.
    Toby’s eyes bugged out. 'Wait... Dad? What are you doing here?' he asked, seeing
    his father, Mr. Higgins, sitting right next to Mr. Miller.
    Maya looked up and saw the two boys peeking over the fence. She gave a bright,
    cheerful wave. 'Oh, hey guys! You’re just in time!'
    Mr. Miller stood up, grinning. 'Leo! I didn't know you were coming over. I was
    just telling Maya here about that time you cried because you couldn't find your
    Batman socks.'
    Leo felt his soul leave his body. 'Dad, why are you... why are you at Maya’s
    house?'
    Mr. Higgins chimed in, clapping a hand on Maya’s shoulder. 'Well, kids, we have
    some news. You know how Toby and Leo have been friends forever?'
    Toby nodded slowly, his brain trying to process the visual information in front of
    him.
    'Well,' Mr. Higgins continued, 'Your fathers have finally decided to get back into
    the dating scene. And it turns out, we both met the most wonderful woman at the
    PTA mixer last month.'
    Maya giggled. 'She’s my mom. And she’s currently inside making sandwiches.'
    Leo blinked. 'Wait. So you’re not... you’re not dating our dads?'

    Maya burst out laughing. 'No! My mom is dating both of them! Well, not both at
    once. They’re kind of... competing? It’s a whole thing. They’re like best friend rivals.'
    The two dads looked at each other and nodded. 'It’s a healthy competition, Leo,'
    Mr. Miller said. 'Winner gets to take her to the gala next week.'
    Maya looked at the boys, then at her denim jacket. 'Wait, did you guys come here
    to ask me something?'
    Leo looked at Toby. Toby looked at Leo. The three-page poem in Leo’s pocket felt
    like a lead weight. The 'Spring Dance' invitation in Toby’s head felt like a crime.
    'We... uh... we were just wondering if you had the notes for the biology lab,' Toby
    lied, his voice reaching a pitch only dogs could hear.
    'Yeah,' Leo added quickly. 'The one about... cell division. Because things are
    definitely dividing. Relationships. Sanity. Everything.'
    Maya smiled, though she looked a little suspicious. 'Sure, come on in. My mom
    wants to meet the sons of the 'legendary duo' she’s been hearing so much about.'
    The two boys walked into the house, passing their fathers who were now
    arguing over who had the better lawn-mowing technique.
    In the kitchen, Maya’s mom was humming a tune. She looked exactly like Maya,
    only with more sensible shoes and a look of someone who had survived many PTA
    meetings.
    Leo and Toby sat at the kitchen island, feeling like they had just walked into a
    parallel dimension where their social lives had been nuked from orbit.
    'So,' Maya said, leaning against the counter. 'You guys were acting really weird at
    the fence. You sure there wasn't something else?'
    Toby looked at the 'World's Best Dad' shirts through the window and then back
    at Maya. 'Nope. Just biology. Science is the only thing on our minds.'
    Leo nodded vigorously. 'Purely academic. We are scholars. Men of letters. Not at
    all interested in anything that would make Sunday dinner awkward for the next
    decade.'
    Maya shrugged. 'Okay then. Let's get to work on those cells.'

    An hour later, Leo and Toby walked back to their bikes. The sun was setting,
    casting long shadows over the suburb that now felt like a minefield.
    'So,' Toby said, kicking a pebble. 'We never speak of this again?'
    'Agreed,' Leo said, shaking Toby’s hand with solemn intensity. 'We are still best
    friends. And we are both very, very single.'

    the end

  • Hades0918
    Hades0918 Member Posts: 16,326 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Tag me again please

    I'm busy right now but I don't want to forget

  • PokeMom244
    PokeMom244 Member Posts: 2,033 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Appluase applause!
    That was great dude!
    I think you can win!

  • Hades0918
    Hades0918 Member Posts: 16,326 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Wow…

    Maya wasn't playing them

    She didn't know stuff was happening!

    I thought the plot twist was the two boys' dads were secretly dating and Maya was some how their daughter, making her related to both of the guys...

    Not biologically possible but that's where my brain went

    Anyways, I enjoyed it!

    Very funny

    What made them realize they didn't want her, though?

    I might have missed it, I don't know, but figured I'd still ask

  • crayZender
    crayZender Member Posts: 218 ✭✭✭
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    @Hades0918 they didnt want her because after what had happened. they realized that as long as they had eachother as friends thats all they needed. something we need more of in this world.

  • Hades0918
    Hades0918 Member Posts: 16,326 ✭✭✭✭✭
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