I Have the Answer to Mega Malamar

Voltareon2012

https://community.pokemon.com/en-us/discussion/comment/102461#Comment_102461

I save @Hades0918 by changing your reality to one full of carrot flavored cotton candy. Why I do this?
No idea!

dragonitebeam

I re summon Origin Form Necrozma, fully under my control due to it being in a Master Ball, and use a Judgemental Prismatic Laser on @clasingla.

Hades0918

https://community.pokemon.com/en-us/discussion/comment/102482#Comment_102482

Is there any ranch?

Carrots are bland without it

And I doubt cotton candy will be better

clasingla

then I soak your cotton candy to melt it like so so the ground we stand on is no more

Hades0918

https://community.pokemon.com/en-us/discussion/comment/102539#Comment_102539

Ew!

Now the ground is wet and sticky!

I grab a handful and throw it at you, @clasingla

clasingla

https://community.pokemon.com/en-us/discussion/comment/102540#Comment_102540

how dare you I now turn the ground into yarn and cotton and the trees into needles and sewing pins

Hades0918

https://community.pokemon.com/en-us/discussion/comment/102550#Comment_102550

I grab a tree and, with my godly strength, pull it out and charge at you

clasingla

I use a shield made out of pure foam have the needle stick to it and launch you far away

Hades0918

https://community.pokemon.com/en-us/discussion/comment/102561#Comment_102561

A snap my fingers and a slide made of chocolate appears, which I just so happen to land in on the perfect angle to slide down safely

clasingla

I change the scenery to a quiz show hot lava above both of our heads and the announcer announces the first question