Mystery Dungeon Story part 13
Chapter 13 - The Broken World
Team Hopefinders heard a sound in the distance, knowing that Cutiefly might still be chasing after them, knew there only way out was to go into the mystery dungeon. As team Hopefinders entered the dungeon, Mirage noticed Lilly was still looking somber, no where near her usual cheery energetic self. "Hey Lilly, are you okay?"
Lilly tried to hide the tears that flooded down her face "I'm alright." Lilly's face was turned away from Mirage, not wanting her friends to take the blame upon themselves for not being more careful. Lilly then felt something touch her back. After looking up she saw both Mirage and Leo trying to comfort her.
"Hey, Lilly, I know it must be hard for you to see your dad disappear after seeing your moms grave. I know exactly how you feel, the first few days after my parents disappeared I hid myself from the public because I believed my tears were a burden. Everyone would try to comfort me during those times yet everyone knew that the problem wouldn't be fixed. Lilly I've had that mindset for a long time but after these few month adventuring with you and Leo, I've learned that the journey is still not over." Mirage then saw Lilly crying on her poofy, wispy fur.
As the team continued through the dungeon after making it through the first 3 floors, Leo now noticed that something was off. "Hey, Mirage? Have you noticed that there have been no mindless pokemon roaming these areas?"
"I didn't think about that until you brought that up Leo. That is in fact very strange and not something of my knowledge has ever happened in a mystery dungeon before." Mirage replied.
Floor after floor the team traversed through not encountering any pokemon of any kind. Finally after reaching the top of the dungeon saw a figure laying down, looking like they were having shortness of breathe. Mirage, Leo, and Lilly went closer to investigate this figure.
"Wh-y d-o yo-u co-me h-ere?" this figure said in a raspy voice "Yo-u m-usn-'t a-wak-en it."
"Who are you?" Leo blurted out "And what is it?"
"I'-m a Jan-gm-o-o th-at goe-s by t-he na-me sc-al-es a-nd i-t w-as th-at bl-ack sl-udg-e th-at d-estr-oy-ed my w-orl-d" scales then paused then continued "L-ea-ve no-w a-nd sa-ve y-our w-or-ld th-at i-ts fa-te w-ill no-t be th-e s-ame as mi-ne."
Mirage then spoke up "I have one escape orb, we can go back to town and face the threat. Plus the town is the last place that Cutiefly will expect us to be. Should we give that a try?"
After team Hopefinders agreed to do that, Mirage held up the escape orb and the three were teleported out of the dungeon back into town. The town looked different it was quite, the only people in the town were them. All at once all three of them said "What Happened?".
Comments
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Nice!!
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the detail and interaction at the start was nice to show character voice and development.
i think the dungeon itself and the jangmo-o could have had more of a physical description as to what they were going through and what they looked like respectively, for the reader to get a better idea that they're dealing with something different or what the mon might be.
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