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pokemon mystery dungeon story part 3

clasingla Member Posts: 1,849 ✭✭✭✭
First Answer 5 LOLs 5 Agrees First Comment

Welcome To Breeze Town-

mirage and Leo go to the entrance of the town.

leo took a deep breath and asked "I don't know where anything is, can you give me a tour?"

mirage replied "first we need to register as an expedition team" mirage took Leo to this big building "welcome, to the expedition headquarters" recited mirage. Leo gasped in amazment. a question the was starting to bubble in his head why would mirage want to join in the first place what was the purpose. he didn't realize though that he had his mouth open and was actually saying the words out loud! "What! thats pretty rude to ask but I guess I will explain. my parents were part of one of the greatest expedition teams ever DZZ, or in simplified terms dragapult, hisuin zoroark, and zoroark; they were sent on a quest to go investigate a unusual source that was causing weird events to happen. my parents went missing on that quest and I want to find them no matter the cost." mirage headed to the front desk and asked "can I start an expedition team?".

clodsire who was at the desk responded "you finally found someone to work with have you mirage? well that does make you officially elligiable to start an expedition team! so here is all the paperwork that you have to fill to start one!" the stack was big, 50 pages big! mirage then moped "I sadly can't give you a tour right now, to start the expedition team I have to fill out a ton of paperwork. I'll try to find someone to give you a tour." out of the corner of mirage's eye she spotted cutiefly "hey cutiefly, can you give my new friend Leo a tour of breeze town?"

cutiefly was in shock "fine" cutiefly squealled. Leo started to follow cutiefly "overhere is the houses and buildings. you will probably will stay with mirage right chikorita?"

"my name is Leo not chikorita" demanded Leo he was upset because mirage literally just told cutiefly his name

"same difference I guess? if you prefer Leo I guess I will call you that." cutiefly started to show a lot of the town which Leo doesn't think he will be needing to go to. "I have a question to ask you" studdered cutiefly "would the world be better if it just went… poof!"

confused about the strange question Leo responded the best he could "I really wouldn't want to stand on fluffy ground or have fluffy water"

cutiefly astonished by his naive answer reacted by "wouldn't this world be better if no one was here, there's to much misery, grief, pain, jealousy, and distress."

"I have no clue where your coming from but wouldn't there be no world if no one was on it?" Leo remarked

"well I guess I should stop trying to explain it to you. you're to naive to understand anyway." mumbled cutiefly. Leo was about to bust he hated being called naive. why does everyone call him naive? all that talked to him recently except clodsire said he was naive the voice, mirage, and now cutiefly. cutiefly noticed leo's about to bust and decided to quickly change the topic. "this is where the important stuff is! the town square!" exclaimed cutiefly "over there are the shops, first is kecleon wares they sell all sorts of wares and are sometimes in dungeons trying to sell wares."

"so what do i need those ware's for?" leo pondered

"they are a necessity or usefull tools that you need to take into dungeon to be able to get through it." explained cutiefly "Next is configigurus gold exchange, if you get gold bars you can exchange them for money or some rarer items."

"what would be the best thing to get there?" Leo asked.

"1 gold bar for 5 reviver seeds because 1 reviver seed in kecleons shop sells for 220 poké and you can exchange 1 gold bar for 555 poké you are basically getting 5 reviver seeds for the price of 3." emphasized cutiefly "next up is ghouldengo treasure unlocker, if you ever find a box in a dungeon you can take it here and for a price of 150 poké ghouldengo will open it." Leo nodded in agreement knowing that cutiefly was started to get annoyed with his questions. "over there is hawlucha slam school he can help you remember and forget moves and if you can change your ability you can give a lucha token to change it."

"actually" Leo questions "is there anyway I could learn to get stronger?"

cutiefly then answers "well there is in fact the name is hakomo-o training if you want to get stronger this is the place to train but the kind of training depends on how much poké your willing to pay." cutiefly took a deep breath and said "finally over there is alcreamie cafe she will happily make you a delicious desert that raises a stat of your choice for a good 2100 poké you can also just enjoy a meal there for 200 poké." leo was about to respond but when leo turned around cutiefly was no where to be seen a voice then came out of nowhere .

"leo come here we need to decide a team name" that was mirage's voice! leo followed it and mirage lead him to her house.


  • clasingla
    clasingla Member Posts: 1,849 ✭✭✭✭
    First Answer 5 LOLs 5 Agrees First Comment

    please critique me

  • UnovanZorua
    UnovanZorua Member Posts: 1,562 ✭✭✭✭
    First Answer 5 LOLs First Comment 5 Agrees

    To be honest, it's a bit hard to read without names being capitalised, and there's still a lack of commas.

    But it's pretty good! I feel like Mirage's goal was a really nice idea.