clasingla ✭✭✭✭✭

https://community.pokemon.com/en-us/discussion/13862/mystery-dungeon-story-part-12 https://community.pokemon.com/en-us/discussion/14734/mystery-dungeon-story-part-13 https://community.pokemon.com/en-us/discussion/15250/mystery-dungeon-story-part-14

https://community.pokemon.com/en-us/discussion/12945/mystery-dungeon-story-part-9 https://community.pokemon.com/en-us/discussion/13211/mystery-dungeon-story-part-9-5 https://community.pokemon.com/en-us/discussion/13061/mystery-dungeon-story-part-10…

https://community.pokemon.com/en-us/discussion/12763/mystery-dungeon-story-part-6 https://community.pokemon.com/en-us/discussion/12982/mystery-dungeon-story-6-5 https://community.pokemon.com/en-us/discussion/12840/mystery-dugeon-story-part-7 https://community.pokemon.com/en-us/discussion/12851/mystery-dungeon-story-part-8

https://community.pokemon.com/en-us/discussion/13356/mystery-dungeon-story-part-1-rewrite https://community.pokemon.com/en-us/discussion/11165/pokemon-mystery-dungeon-adventure-part-2 https://community.pokemon.com/en-us/discussion/11206/pokemon-mystery-dungeon-story-part-3…

honestly these are like all my thoughts on my reread of my first story edit: I'm probably not going to specifically look for flaws in my others stories yet and going through improvements probably will still ask for tips when i write them but they are both still in the early stages of writing

the only thing i wish for chapter 15 instead of just having uxe explaining what happens in the end was to write a full on epilouge instead also the start of the battle against telilah could have been written better

in chapter 14 i think i should have the reveal of cutiefly's backstory revealed when they visited leva falls instead of in the note and the note only to show the location of the final showdown felt like a villain monologue from pollen would have been better to showcase her thoughts her agony her pain her longing for revenge

chapter 13 was really short i kind of wished i made it a little longer and expanded more about jangmo-o maybe changed the way i worded how they spoke instad of something l-ik-e th-is have a writing style l-ke t-is where instead of just seperating words with - maybe make it so the words are incomplete incoherent. also maybe…

chapter 12 i flat out said the message i was trying to make with the story which I am disappointed about also i feel like between chapter 11 and 12 was a good point to have a less plot focused episode with still some of the tension that comes from the events of the story and the toll that they've had on not only the…

chapter 11 starts with me shrugging off the excuse i got for realizing that i can't just keep calling lilly growlithe and probably could have done that way better if the name reveal was in the next chapter instead of this chapter tho saying that was pretty out of the blue I played it very well I definitely liked rereading…